Ever have one of those "well, crap." moments? Yeah. I definitely have those, and looking at old pics of myself definitely elicits this response from me. You know, they say youth is wasted on the young (did I type that correctly?). Well I propose that fitness is wasted on the young, too. Heh. Not saying that I think kids shouldn't be fit. Of course that's not what I mean...but just look at that girl over there! I was darn cute, even while I was being silly! And not in shape, per se, but I was the weight and so forth that I should be at this height. I don't expect to be at that place again, as I am not 18 anymore. But a fit 30-something would be fine.

I just finished another paper--I'm taking 3 classes for poops and giggles, currently, and mostly I'm pooping. This is due to the fact that I am a huge nerd at heart and cannot stand to "mess up" anymore with school---perhaps an overreaction to the fact that I utterly screwed up when I first was in school 16 years ago. So I really, really, REALLY like to get darn-near perfect grades/marks on things. Is this realistic always? Nope. So this is where the poops come in.
It doesn't help that I'm taking one of the most depressing courses imaginable. By my choice, at that. The History of the Holocaust. Needless to say, this is often a soul-wrenching class. The readings are riveting and moving and horrible. Tonight, after getting off the phone with my hubby, I sat on our bed, rocking back and forth, weeping. I had just been taking notes on the happenings of Nazi Germany in around 1933-38 and felt such a sense of hopelessness for what happened then. Then hubby calls and as we hang up, I realize we have approximately 5 weeks until he deploys. That's about all it took for the waterworks. So this Holocaust-Deployment-Lack-o-Sleep cryfest lasted about 10 minutes, where I took it upon myself to pray and have a good heart-to-heart with God. I got my head on straight again, freshened up and headed onward to Holocaust Paper Land. I finished the darn thing with 4 minutes to spare.

Good night.