Neal's Going Away Part-ay!

Here we have Aaron and Andrew at Neal's going away party. Fun!
Neal and Andrew, in a cuddly moment at the party!
Christy (and Chuck) put a great patriotic cake together!
The very shocking Lady Liberty. Whew, that is a spooky picture...but it was fun dressing up!
A picture of the spread! We decorated in red, white and blue and had a similar theme with the foodstuffs! People brought loaded nacho bar, red, white and blue chips with dips, and I did a blueberry/red grape/pineapple hearts spread with cream cheese dip, and a veggie platter with red bell peppers, cauliflower, and blue corn chips for dipping! We had delicious mini burgers with a variety of cheeses on 'em, we had little pigs in blankets, more veggies and fruits with dips, and some kid-decorated sugar cookies with--you guessed it--red, white and blue frosting!

We had a wonderful night of celebrating Neal and our friendships. Lots of folks were there--no family, sadly, could attend. We had approximately 35-40 people (including children) there, though! Really fantastic!

I was the only fully insane person when it came to dressing up, but Christy was a sort of hybrid Dolly Madison/Martha Washington/Betsy Ross! Most people wore red, white and blue. I managed to find a funky "Uncle Sam"-ish hat for Brandon to wear, which was perfect. :)

It was a lovely way to have a positive, upbeat, laid-back send-off party for Neal before stuff gets heavier. I know it's difficult for people to know what to say or do with this--I can read it in their faces when they ask about details. It is similar to that "sick family" or "recently deceased loved one" conversation you might try to have with someone you love. If that person isn't your particular family or friend, it seems exceedingly awkward and scary to broach the subject. There is the perpetual "what do I say?" question that haunts you, and then, if you're me, you finally decide to just call. Just listen. Maybe nod, or vocalize some understanding sounds, but otherwise offering support and love and just honestly being a person to be there is what I guess is important. There isn't a magic thing to say that is "right." Maybe there is, actually: "I'm here for you. This must be difficult. I want to help in any way you might need it. Let's hang out, or chat, or maybe I can babysit while you grocery shop." You get what I mean...that stuff means a lot more than "wow, sorry to hear so-and-so is gone," or whatnot. This is true for funerals, or goings-away, or illnesses, or deployments, or whatnot. No magic, special words make things right--but they can make a difference in the actions they offer. If you have verbs, and not just words to offer, then you're on the right track to saying the "right" thing.

That being said, that's what so many of my friends and family have! They are loving us with verbs. Some people don't say much, which I don't mind. I really have no desire to constantly discuss Neal's pending deployment. However, I know who to go to when I want or need to chat, or need more than that. I also know who to avoid...the "war sucks" people, for instance. Wow, war sucks...really? And it sucks that he's leaving for a year? Well thank you for that. Not helpful, and frankly not commiserating, but thanks anyway. One of those good intentions, bad outcome situations. But truly, I am not angry with these friends and others--they don't know any better, and I do think they mean well. They just aren't verb people at this time.

Hey, more on this later! I don't want to seem bitter or moody (which sometimes I am). I appreciate the outpouring of love, support, fun, offers of babysitting and food. To answer your questions about whether or not I would like any of those things: Yes, yes, yes, yes and yes.